Esther Perel
Esther Perel
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A Live Conversation with Esther Perel and Trevor Noah: Where Should We Begin? | SXSW 2024
Not all conversations with Esther have to happen behind closed doors. Last week, Esther sat down with Trevor Noah, live at SXSW in Austin on the Vox Media stage, for a candid look at the state of comedy in the world we live in. The two of them uncovered some surprising similarities between being a comic and being a therapist. Esther showed Trevor a few ways to become a better listener and Trevor in return helped Esther prep for her new live tour.
If you want to be part of that show too- Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire - and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to www.estherperel.com/tour2024
For Trevor Noah's Off the Record tour visit www.trevornoah.com/shows
This conversation is also available on Esther's podcast, "Where Should We Begin?" Listen through the link below and stay tuned for the Audience Q+A, exclusively on Apple Podcasts subscriptions later this week.
link.chtbl.com/WSWByt
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Відео

Where Should We Begin? is BACK.
Переглядів 37 тис.11 місяців тому
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Where Should We Begin? The Podcast is BACK. Some of you have been with me since the very beginning, patiently awaiting the return of a new season. And others are just discovering my podcast for the first time, so allow me to introduce you to Where Should We Begin? Seven years ago, I started this project to break down the four walls of my therapy office and invite you to listen...
Let's Talk About Depression
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Depression is the family secret that everyone has. Approximately 280 million people suffer from depression worldwide (WHO). There are few people who haven't been touched by it either directly or indirectly yet it is a conversation many are hesitant to have. So, let's talk about it. Three years ago, I invited writer and lecturer, Andrew Solomon to my Sessions community to have a conversation abo...
The Paradox of Security vs. Freedom
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From the moment we are born, we straddle two sets of contradicting needs: the need for security and the need for freedom. They spring from different sources and pull us in different directions. And the issue today is that we want to reconcile this tension in our romantic relationships and in many other facets of our lives. Control, for many, means choosing one or the other: security or freedom....
Three Types of Relationship Fights - And What To Do About Them
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We all know that moment of deeply upsetting bewilderment that pushes a relationship fight over the edge. It’s when we ask ourselves for the umpteeth time HOW could they POSSIBLY be DOING this AGAIN when they know how much it UPSETS me? ‍Dishes left piling up in the sink. Too much time spent scrolling social media when we long for quality time. That tone of voice that makes us feel stupid. The p...
Two Types of Relationship Revolutions
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There are two Relationship Revolutions happening simultaneously that are changing our daily lives. We've reached an intersection in our personal and professional worlds, where the metrics of success from one have permeated the other. We are holding our employers and office environments to higher standards of relational and emotional intelligence, while also evaluating our romantic partners in t...
Dating Advice: How To Turn a Spark into a Flame
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First dates run the gamut-they can be exciting, exhausting, mysterious, boring, easy, or laborious. What determines the success or disappointment of a first date has less to do with an immediate spark and more to do with creating the right conditions for turning that spark into a lingering flame that leaves us burning to experience more. When we’re just beginning to connect with a new person, i...
The Paradox of Masculinity
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I’m fascinated by the modern day notion of masculinity - a much more fragile concept than we may acknowledge at first glance or passing thought. Masculinity is often presented as an imperative, a badge to be continuously earned through actions, rituals, and ongoing duties. As the definition and associated expectations of masculinity have changed dramatically in the last several decades, we are ...
The Happiness Mandate
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Happiness is an outcome, not a mandate, because the expectation of a constant state of happiness will cause you to constantly wonder, "Am I happy? Am I happy enough? Could I be happier? Should I leave this relationship? I'm happy, but maybe I could be happier somewhere else." This obsession with happiness and its relentless pursuit inherently creates massive uncertainty and self-doubt. In a soc...
Taking a Break
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Taking a Break
Rituals for Breakups - Esther Perel
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Rituals for Breakups - Esther Perel
Rituals for Relationships - Esther Perel
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Rituals for Relationships - Esther Perel
Rituals for Dating - Esther Perel
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Rituals for Dating - Esther Perel
Loneliness Under Lockdown - Esther Perel
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Loneliness Under Lockdown - Esther Perel
Building and Dissolving Boundaries with Partners During Quarantine - Esther Perel
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Building and Dissolving Boundaries with Partners During Quarantine - Esther Perel
How Couples Can Create Mystery, Distance, and Intimacy Under Lockdown - Esther Perel
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How Couples Can Create Mystery, Distance, and Intimacy Under Lockdown - Esther Perel
How To Turn Relational Differences into Resources During Coronavirus - Esther Perel
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How To Turn Relational Differences into Resources During Coronavirus - Esther Perel
On Grandiosity and Shame - Esther Perel & Terry Real
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On Grandiosity and Shame - Esther Perel & Terry Real
Supporting a partner who has experienced sexual trauma - Esther Perel & Holly Richmond
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Supporting a partner who has experienced sexual trauma - Esther Perel & Holly Richmond
What to do when your partner is depressed - Esther Perel
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What to do when your partner is depressed - Esther Perel
The Masculinity Paradox: Closing and Q+A - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Closing and Q A - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
The Masculinity Paradox: Lightning Talk with David Ley - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Lightning Talk with David Ley - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
The Masculinity Paradox: Lightning Talk with Sara Nasserzadeh - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Lightning Talk with Sara Nasserzadeh - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
The Masculinity Paradox: Lightning Talk with Virginia Goldner - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Lightning Talk with Virginia Goldner - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
The Masculinity Paradox: Terry Real, Doug Braun-Harvey, Erlanger Turner - Sessions by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Terry Real, Doug Braun-Harvey, Erlanger Turner - Sessions by Esther Perel
Making Connections - Esther Perel & Christina Pierpaoli Parker
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Making Connections - Esther Perel & Christina Pierpaoli Parker
The Masculinity Paradox: Warm Up with Paul Browde - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Warm Up with Paul Browde - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
The Masculinity Paradox: Welcome - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
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The Masculinity Paradox: Welcome - Sessions Live by Esther Perel
Healing After a Traumatic Event - Esther Perel & Julia Samuel
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Healing After a Traumatic Event - Esther Perel & Julia Samuel
Supporting a Grieving Friend - Esther Perel & Julia Samuel
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Supporting a Grieving Friend - Esther Perel & Julia Samuel

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @amycaldwell216
    @amycaldwell216 12 годин тому

    Yet this probably won't help when the betrayer is sociopathic or narcissistic, where there is little hope for change.

  • @weirdloverwilde
    @weirdloverwilde 2 дні тому

    Fair enough but contempt for the oppressor is a pretty normal reaction

  • @Invisibility397
    @Invisibility397 3 дні тому

    Discusting and Revolting women makes joke about sex. Too bad for the women having sex. Well War is a few days away but women are arguing about this stupid subject.

  • @Invisibility397
    @Invisibility397 4 дні тому

    Condemned and Banished from my eternal journey.

  • @Invisibility397
    @Invisibility397 4 дні тому

    No thanks I don't care about the bullshit gaslighting deception & manipulation there Garbage disposal trys to renarrate the event so they can avoid accountability and Responsibility for the cause and effect. Reciprocity & Karma will teach her exactly how it felt for me. I left a letter stating that I don't ever want to see hear putrid face in this lifetime. If she doesn't listen to it then I got a Hammer that will guarantee that will be the final time she attempts to talk to or see me. Nuclear Wasteland is the only outcome for that behavior is intentionally desired to destroy me and I don't care what happens to middle aged Women anymore. I am far better off Solo in this lifetime Zero friends " Enemies that I allowed internally " . That is not going to happen again. Also I will not defend America's shit circus

  • @mandyshanks2327
    @mandyshanks2327 8 днів тому

    I love a strong man. Muscles, mental strength, not putting up with shit, looking upward, even the smell of testosterone. Protecting his family, aiming high for his life and also loving his wife. That is a real man. Tucker Carlson explained this well. He met his wife when both 15 years and still together after 5 kids. He says love and respect your wife, do what you can to make her happy, even though you often don’t understand her, and then the children will be happy. Brilliant advice.

  • @stdyrn1237
    @stdyrn1237 9 днів тому

    If you follow her advice, I wish you good luck.

  • @YukoYoshikane82
    @YukoYoshikane82 11 днів тому

    People change. Also people treat you differently if you change too

  • @melkerner
    @melkerner 11 днів тому

    Trust? You talk about trust - how about having a sexless marriage decided once you have multiple children and she simply says it's done and you are stuck with it? Doesn't matter to her if you value sex, she gets nothing from it and you are trapped - talk about deception. Divorce with bankruptcy and 20+ years of indentured servitude, infidelity with much the same option if found out - or a life of forced celibacy until you can escape. That's broken trust.

  • @NatureWins22
    @NatureWins22 11 днів тому

    It desensitized you to the pain

  • @NatureWins22
    @NatureWins22 11 днів тому

    Laugh while you have the things they do happen to you. Show me that person in person and what’s in mind. Never accept abuse with love. Give them indifference. Avoid them. Get rid of your traitors and to the traitors, understand how you are the ones most affected by their hate of your existence. Comedy can also be used to desensitize you to your reality.

  • @NatureWins22
    @NatureWins22 11 днів тому

    First I hear of her. I’m interested in hearing especially after her first joke where you could only laugh. To say you have more experience with a 🎤 is hilarious a absurd to say to a person. Doesn’t seem so funny when she said she isn’t a comedian.

  • @standground8284
    @standground8284 12 днів тому

    *Folks, Life is too short to get hung up over a cheater in any capacity.* Cheater don’t care about your well being so it’s in your best interest to know and understand that wholeheartedly. It’s really that simple. The idea that someone would refer to a cheater’s carefully executed plan of betrayal “a mistake” is an insult to their hard work, dedication and best efforts to avoid detection. The mistake is them getting caught. Cheaters are nervous, embarrassed, trying to escape, not poised, not confident or articulate when they’re busted. I bet they don’t exhibit those qualities while engaging in their infidelity. Cheaters are likely excited, poised, confident, enjoying themselves, passionate, etc, while betraying their significant other. Therefore, the mistake is them getting exposed and they’re probably sad that they’re no longer able to do so, but they’ll attempt to convince you that they’re sad because they wronged you and they’re remorseful, lol. You can’t help but give cheater credit for their ability to deceive, *it’s almost masterful.* Either way, forgive them and move on with your life. *They can become a better person and find redemption in their next relationship, right?*

  • @mole1596
    @mole1596 13 днів тому

    get a room.

  • @hollymolly4036
    @hollymolly4036 13 днів тому

    It is a shame we can't clone Noah, I need one personal Noah for myself, being as selfish as I am!

  • @isis9210
    @isis9210 13 днів тому

    👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @tingzhang8261
    @tingzhang8261 13 днів тому

    Let the woman talk!

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- 13 днів тому

    Someone who has a confirmation bias, " truth of your experience" but not the truth. "

  • @sandramarshall5212
    @sandramarshall5212 13 днів тому

    Fabulous w🎉

  • @JasmineSherni
    @JasmineSherni 15 днів тому

    “Why do you need your partner to agree with you?” Ooof!

  • @milesmaluba
    @milesmaluba 15 днів тому

    The refresh i needed.

  • @christianrautenberg6089
    @christianrautenberg6089 16 днів тому

    I´m amazed by listening to Trevor Noah every time, I see his clips. He´s such a bright and fantastic guy. I´d like to see an interview with him and "Mayor Pete" Buttigieg. Brain at work. Great.

  • @Tanz17
    @Tanz17 16 днів тому

    That guy is so brilliant...truly inspiring ❤

  • @willbain9130
    @willbain9130 17 днів тому

    What if you found text messages in which your girlfriend ACTUALLY told the guy she was banging that "he (meaning me) can't pleasure me like you can"??

    • @standground8284
      @standground8284 12 днів тому

      You’ve supported to dump her promptly without an explanation. Don’t even mention the text messages, she’ll throw it in your face and laugh in your face for discovering her deception.

  • @janusatthegate6201
    @janusatthegate6201 17 днів тому

    We often laugh with tears.

  • @JoanFFF
    @JoanFFF 18 днів тому

    this is so good and funny

  • @dashingwithvon7870
    @dashingwithvon7870 18 днів тому

    That was amazing thank you

  • @Aveeguides
    @Aveeguides 18 днів тому

    I think it’s important to try to get both partners on board with great advice like this. If one partner starts making these changes, but the other partner doesn’t really understand what they need to do to change yet-the partner that has successfully changed quickly feels like they’re the only one making the effort.

  • @thetruther954
    @thetruther954 18 днів тому

    Maybe so, I no longer need her. I have captured forbidden, taboo, hurting partners and living to the fullest. I do not choose the ball buster, the ball buster chooses me. There she is again, but I ignore her. You are safe with me.

  • @AdamantSeraph
    @AdamantSeraph 18 днів тому

    You are a total hoax, uploading for marketing reasons, being completely ignorant and iresposible regarding the social impact you are generating. Just a bitchy speech wraped up in some logica structures that surpass your depth of understanding

  • @susanacarvalho9485
    @susanacarvalho9485 18 днів тому

    Laugther gives us power and turns down fear!❤

  • @Psalms1914
    @Psalms1914 18 днів тому

    I could listen to Trevor ALL DAY!!

  • @vincentdenis9122
    @vincentdenis9122 21 день тому

    1:30 Is it me or the man didn’t do anything wrong ? He plan to meet a friend and tell his gf that’s it . And then the gf says why did you think this would not make you feel like you make your own decision if you ask me? Because asking her if you can meet a friend totally looks like you ask permission

  • @vincentdenis9122
    @vincentdenis9122 21 день тому

    I don’t understand what’s wrong about not asking your gf about meeting a friend . If me friend is in town and says can we meet Tuesday ? I will say ok and then tell my gf, no need to tell her prior and yes it looks ask her permission, but I really don’t see a problem with that. If my gf say to me, Wednesday I will go to the restaurant with a friend , I would say ok, I will not be angry that she didn’t ask me 🤷‍♂️. If a woman has to ask her man before meeting some friends it would be seen as controlling and abusive but a man has to do it ?

  • @sarahfaith6531
    @sarahfaith6531 23 дні тому

    Humor as our ultimate freedom hmm

  • @amc3964
    @amc3964 23 дні тому

    She is so sympathetic of cheaters.

  • @ryancaldwell6149
    @ryancaldwell6149 23 дні тому

    It's sometimes better to know the truth of acts because what's in your head from guessing is likely worse than what really happened and Knowing will create relief.

    • @standground8284
      @standground8284 12 днів тому

      I disagree, cheaters don’t deserve closure. A conversation with cheaters are meaningless, plus they’re already tired from lying to you enough.

  • @peterreed736
    @peterreed736 24 дні тому

    When I'm depressed my partner has learnt to just leave me alone to deal with it.

  • @somuch4allrightsreserved
    @somuch4allrightsreserved 24 дні тому

    i wont forget the couple of girlfriends that i once had & caught out playing around they'll never get another chance to break my heart good luck to em glad theyve moved on better off without them

  • @nancystevens1252
    @nancystevens1252 24 дні тому

    I would argue that we also "listen" with our soul/spirit. Such a great conversation between these two!!

  • @LorenaCruz-le2mz
    @LorenaCruz-le2mz 24 дні тому

    This is the part i struggle with now. But i decided that i am just going to work on myself and get to the point i am completely healed and not ruminating about the past. In the past the wrong people wanted me and i said yes. Now i am clear that i attract good people and people who are not for me. I am forcing myself to listen to my intuition and tell my brain to stop freaking out.

  • @LydiaJairus
    @LydiaJairus 25 днів тому

    Saw this, and I saved it for later as a snack. I got more than I bargained for.

  • @RosanaHermann
    @RosanaHermann 26 днів тому

    I just wish she would mention the authors of the phrases she mentions, such as this one "Literature scholar and author Gina Barreca maintains that “laughing together is as close as you can get without touching”."

  • @suebarajaki79
    @suebarajaki79 27 днів тому

    F** Why Esther seems to corner Sara from Portland as if she is the one who is in the wrong part here.. this BS therapist must be a cheater once with many EXCUSES LOL

  • @Englishpodcaster
    @Englishpodcaster 27 днів тому

    Man i love her so much not helping her in this situation literally breaks me i feel helpless

  • @rnmbf1
    @rnmbf1 27 днів тому

    The flow, the rhythms , just so brilliant!!!

  • @rnmbf1
    @rnmbf1 27 днів тому

    I’m totally in love with these two! They should do a world tour together! Both are amazing in their own right!!! They totally compliment each other! So real and so pure!

  • @susannet.401
    @susannet.401 29 днів тому

    I love this conversation

  • @Eyeball_Heroin
    @Eyeball_Heroin 29 днів тому

    Too bad her accent is so heavy, oh well.

  • @defiantgardener
    @defiantgardener Місяць тому

    22:40 good therapy (and good comedy) is the art of unpacking subtext that the person doesn't immediately see ...and taking that "invisible"subtext, and making it visible ... (and hopefully growth, insight, ect comes from that)